Cat in the Bedroom; Help

by Middle Aged Female
(Hawaii)

My boyfriend is a cat person. I am a dog person (non-shedding). I have asthma and many allergies. I don't allow my dog in my bedroom even though she doesn't shed. I am being careful. I don't want to become allergic to her and the bedroom is my most vulnerable area. My boyfriend can't imagine keeping his cat out of the bedroom. We will never be able to take our relationship to the next level (living together) if he won't keep his cat out of our bedroom. How come this is so difficult for him to consider? I truly believe the cat will adjust to it and have no long lasting trauma from it. Now my boyfriend on the other hand; that's a concern. What's your advice?

Answer by Kate
Hmmm interesting question.
My fella has always liked to have our cat on the bed even though he too has an allergic reaction. He says he enjoys the company of the cat and can put up with the allergy. So I have never really minded as she just settled down on the bed and I hardly noticed her. However she passed away recently and we now have two kittens. Now the problem is the kittens will sleep on the bed for about two hours then wake up and start to play etc, waking me up. So we have decided that at night we now keep the door closed so the cats cannot come in. My guy is a bit sad about this but he understands and hopes that as the cats get older they will calm down enough for them to sleep through the night and be allowed on the bed again.

I have said all of that because it illustrates give and take. Now there are two things you can consider. either groom the cat everyday just before bedtime to reduce any shedding and see if that makes a difference to your allergy or keep the cats out at night. If you try the grooming thing first then at least your boyfriend can see that you have tried to compromise, but he needs to understand that if this does not work then he too will have to compromise and not have the cat on the bed at night. If he won't then I am afraid you may have to consider are you in the right relationship.

Hope I have been of some help in this rather tricky situation.
best wishes Kate