Cat not bonding with new owner

by Tracy
(London)

my friend adopted a cat 6 weeks ago,but the cat has become attached to me. She was attached to my husband when he worked at the shop where she lived - we think she might associate me with him!


She comes out at mealtimes and cries for her food.My friend feeds her, but she won't allow her to stroke her. She is using her litter tray daily.She only comes onto the sofa for cuddles when I visit (1-2 times a week).Only then will she allow my friend to stroke her.She seems very happy during these times, purring and kneading.We seem to have reached a dead end, with no change in her behaviour.I'm worried she has been confined in a smallish area for the whole 6 weeks, with no access to fresh air. I think she wants to be let out now, but my friend is reluctant as she hasn't bonded with her.Should I refrain from visiting for a while so they can bond?

Answer by KAte
yes give them a little space and it may also help if your friend reads my page about bonding. It is designed so that the cat comes to her out or curiosity and this will diminish any fear she may have. Also tell your friend not to wear any strong perfume as this can often be off putting for cats. here is the page

https://www.our-happy-cat.com/new-cat.html

I would give it another couple of weeks before she lets him out and if you can not visit in that time that would be good.

best wishes Kate

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Cat no bonding with new owner
by: Tracy

Thanks for your response Kate. I should have pointed out that my friend is partially sighted and can't see the cat most of the time. So most of the time she doesn't know if the cat is coming out and sitting on the floor watching her/wondering why she isn't interacting or playing with her. She also suffers from depression and I'm wondering if the cat is picking up on this. She cannot interact with the cat when she's depressed. She's worried the cat will 'go to seed'. The cat is meowing to be let out, and that's why I thought it might be time to let her out. It's a difficult situation. She is worried that she won't be able to see where the cat goes when she lets her outside. She would therefore prefer me to be there the first time.

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