Cats rules for domestic staff (1-13)

by Mike O'Brien
(Christchurch New Zealand)

(1) All staff will be on duty 24 hours a day
(2) Staff may have 1/2 a day off to worship the Cat
(3) Punctuality is the necessity of a MEOW
(4) Staff will NOT use vacuum cleaner while cat is napping
(5) Windows are to be left OPEN for cats convenience ALWAYS
(6) All meals will be served on DEMAND (see claws 3)
(7) The craving for a DOG is a human weakness and as such is FORBIDDEN
(8) Cloths worn by staff MUST be of a nature that allows the cat to get rid of unwanted hair
(9) Staff holidays are to be taken in the back yard,you are forbidden to leave the grounds unless it's to buy cat food
(10) Large plant pots are to be provided for cats use in the event of wet weather
(11) All chairs ,settees and beds belong to the cat and can only be used by demestic staff if the cat is AWAY
(12) All can openers, food and cleaning materials are to be provided by the demestic staff.
All furballs,odd smells,unwanted hair and muddy paw prints will be provided by the cat
(13) Payment for the above will be the privilege of being owned by THE CAT.
(c) Mike O'Brien 2009.