Hank A Cats Name

by Vintage 48
(Valley Forge, Pa.)

Hank has had about 5 homes in his somewhat checkered career and each new owner had given him a new name; talk about an identity crisis! When he came to me, about 4 years ago from a friend who decided, after living with him for 3 years, that she wasn't a "cat person" after all and was dialing up the ASPCA when I stepped in, his name was MARMELADE for his beautiful amber colored fur. But, as my husband pointed out, is that a name to give a MALE cat?? Just didn't seem "butch" enough (even though he had been "fixed"--the cat, not my husband!). The punchline of a favorite private joke is "so I called him YO HANK". We tried HANK and by the second day, the former Marmelade was responding to the new name. In fact, he underwent a slight "machismo transplant" and started strutting around our older female cat (Tessie); I think the more male name of HANK actually boosted his self esteem. Tessie is still Queen of the roost and when Hank gets a little above himself, she is quick to remind him that:
1) She is the elder of the two and deserves his slave like devotion and respect;
2) She WAS here first;
3) It is only with HER permission that he is allowed to stay, despite what the dumb humans think;
4) SHE still has her front claws (he came de-clawed--I would NEVER do that to a cat!).

We do exercise some creative variations of his name: Hankie is the most common but he also gets called "Hankius Maximus" (usually after we've
watched "Gladiator"); "Hankus Pankus"; "Handsome Hank" because he really is a lovely cat; and "Howlin' Hank" for his more vocal moments--which is often (he has a lot to say about everything, it seems). Some of the other names that hubby has tossed out can't be printed on a family website but can be colorful, I assure you.

"Hank" is also a variation of the name HENRY, which I later recalled was my grandfather's name. I'd never met my grandpa, since he died maybe 20 years before my arrival, but I like to think he'd be pleased to know that such a charming, talented, talkative feline shares his name.