Missing Max My FIV Cat

by Mary
(North Carolina)

It is with a broken heart that I have to report that My dear,sweet Max (who was FIV positive) crossed the bridge at 9 a.m this morning.
He had suffered acute bouts with Stomatitis for several months but had done well with steroid shots and Doxycycline on a montly basis.
I had high hopes he would overcome this last round but in the last month it seemed he declined regardless of the medication and treatment.
With him being 15 years old, the Vet felt that a full mouth extraction would be a huge risk in his weakened condition.
I started noticing two weeks ago that he was not so much himself.
Food was no longer his fondest thing and he slept around the clock and there was a glassy stare in his eyes.
As he worsened,in the last two weeks, I considered having him put down a week ago but upon making the decision, he seemed to perk up and do better. The vet then decided to give him a few days to watch him and see how things went.
Over the weekend last weekend, he stopped eating.
I would have to syringe feed him water and he totally refused food.
I had to carry him to the litter box because he was too weak.
I prayed for him to turn around and instead he took a huge nose dive in the last 3 days.

I decided last night that he had suffered enough and I could not be selfish and hold onto him any longer hoping for something that was not going to come about.
Last night he and I had a heart to heart talk at bedtime.
He crawled up on my chest and I asked him if he was ready to go.
He stretched his weakened legs forward and wrapped them around my neck and nuzzled my face and drifted off to sleep.
I KNEW this was his way of saying it was time to let him be released from this terrible pain he was suffering.
I hugged him close and whispered to him that I would help him this morning. He slept in my arms all night.

This morning we arrived at the Vet's office at 8:45 a.m and Max spent the next 15 minutes cuddling in my arms in front of the window looking at the sunshine. At 9 a.m Max left me to go be with his prior feline housemates (Lola, Rocky, J.J, Snickers and Baby) all whom have gone on before him and was waiting for him on the other side of the bridge.

Although my heart is broken and I miss him terribly already, I am relieved for him that he is no longer suffering.
This is a hard thing that we humans must do for the pets that we love so much but I am certain it is an act of love that goes with them.
In my heart, I know I did everything I could to bring him through this but I suppose it is human to feel that somehow I may have let him down. I hope he knows how much I loved him and will continue to love him all the day's of my life.
I now still have my beloved "Gilly" who came to me from Florida on Easter Sunday and my spoiled girl "Smores" and a sweet Tabby boy "Sam". They will miss Max and they will comfort me in the empty days to come. Someday when the pain of losing Max has subsided somewhat, I will do what he would want me to do and give another deserving FIV kitty a forever home, but for now I need my time with my current babies and time to cope with the loss of this special boy.
Max was 15 years old and I'd like to think he felt he had a good life with me in the years we was together.
He will be greatly missed.
I hope he is chasing butterflies as I type this.
I love you Max!
Always and forever.
Mom, Gilly, Smores and Sam