My cat is getting distant from me

by britanie
(mississippi)

My cat ploof was 2 months old when I found him. He followed me and my bf home for a mile and a half. I’m not sure why he followed us but I’m very glad he did. Ever since then, which was eight months ago, he has been my baby boy. He follows me everywhere, he sleeps with me, he has to be near me at all times, and he copies me. I put my foot under the door and my bf opens it for me, it’s an inside thing. Well my cat does the same thing but with his nose. And I’ve trained him to sit, stand (up up), and when I say "tell me you love me" he meows. We share food as well. I know that isn’t healthy but it isn’t a lot and he is very healthy. Well a few weeks ago my other cat had kittens, and I had to keep them in my room from the day they were born so I know they are safe. Well ploof sleeps in here every night. This is his room; he does what he wants in here. I mean he’s well trained so don’t get the wrong idea with that. Anyhow, the last few days the kittens have been learning to walk, and are moving about. Well he saw them and he’s acting odd. He won’t come in my room, and he’ll sit next to me but look forward and put his chin up like "hhhhmmmmph". And he will do that for a long time. But oddly he’s been hunting at night. Every night he annoys me to let him out, so I do. And he goes out hunts, then comes to my window and follows me with his prey until I look at it. When I pat him and say thank you baby boy, he walks off purring. He doesn’t even care about the bird or kill he had. He purrs instantly when he sees me and he follows me everywhere, without me having to call him. It’s been this way since I found him. So it hurts my feelings that he’s hardly coming around me. He’ll be a year old soon, so I know he’s going to change, but could this be because of the kittens? Does he hate me? Will things get back to normal?

Reply
Hi
There are a few issues here.
Firstly is he neutered? If not then this should be done now as at 1 year old he is now mature enough to start wanting to mate and this will make him more distant anyway as he will want to increase his territory and find females, so this could be a reason for his change in behaviour towards you.

Also cats are not pack animals like dogs so they don’t like to live with lots of other cats. So it could well be that the arrival of the kittens has upset him. He may be thinking that he is being pushed out of the home.

I don’t know what your plans are for the kittens but they have to stay with their mum until they are fully weaned which happens between week 8 and 12.
Also as you say as kittens grow up they will naturally change their behaviour just like humans do, so the change could also just be down to that. You can’t expect him to always be the same. I have two young cats that I have had since they were 4 months old. They are now 2 and I can’t tell you how many things have changed over the years. Yes it is sad when they are no longer so reliant on you but that’s the nature of cats really, they are very independent creatures.

So no I don’t think he hates you but, if he is not neutered I would do that as that will make him calmer and more content to stay near home.

You will have to re home the kittens as soon as they are weaned to prevent further upset in the home. And you will have to accept that he may change his behaviours but at the end of the day that does not mean that they dislike you now, it just means that they are growing up.

Best wishes Kate