struggling with decision about my cat

by Lisa
(Medford, NY)

Hi. I'm having a very difficult time with my cats. I have two...a boy and a girl. They are six years old & have lived together with me since they were kittens. The boy cat has always shown aggression...but about a year ago it escalated...he began attacking the girl cat. to the point of the girl cat urinating & defecating on herself. I would find her in a corner dirty with the boy cat growling at her. It calmed down after I kept them separated for awhile. He also was attacking me at that time. Every since I have had him he has been aggressive. He does not come out when I have company (ie nieces, nephew, siblings, friends). And if he does - he attacks them as well. About two weeks ago it got bad again. The same behaviors...I have them separated right now. I can't have them live together anymore. What to do? No animal shelters will take him. They say he wont be able to be rehomed/adopted etc. I wouldn't want him to be rehomed because of his aggression. I couldn't imagine what could happen if he was around a child or something. I am completely torn & have no idea what to do. Most say to put him down...that something isn't right. If anyone has suggestions...please feel free. I need help :(


Answer by KAte
you have not mentioned if they are spayed / neutered? I will assume he is for this answer.

It is very strange for a neutered cat to be so aggressive, so I am wondering if he has a hormone imbalance or similar. Has the vet investigated for that?

I don't know if you have tried any of the cat medication available to help calm aggressive cats. If not then that may be an idea.
Please see my page here for more on aggressive behavior and possible treatment

I do hope you can find a solution as it would be so sad to have to separate these two siblings.

best wishes Kate

Comments for struggling with decision about my cat

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Aggressive cat
by: JEn

My Siamese is male. He is the second cat of 6 and about 8 years old. 2 years ago I took in a black kitty as a kitten. (Jake) Everything was fine until about 4 months ago, when the Siamese began attacking my black cat, Jake. Jake has become bigger and more muscular, and I thought maybe Boo (the siamese) felt threatened because he has always been the dominant cat. Nothing helped. My black cat also defecates and pees when he is attacked and screams like he's being killed. The siamese actually bites him and pulls fur out. I have talked to the vet. She put the siamese on Prozac. While it calmed him a bit for a while, he basically just sleeps til it starts to wear off and then acts like always, sitting around guarding the black cat and if the black cat tries to sneak around or run, he chases him down and their tails puff up. Some recommend medicating the cat being attacked so that their responses are not so defensive. It is thought that their response triggers the attack. I did try the Prozac on the black cat adn found that he is calmer and doesn't growl or run as quickly which doesn't trigger the siamese to chase him down. Just a thought, but try medication if you don't want to get rid of one.

Cat vs Cat
by: Anonymous

There is a book about this called Cat vs Cat. I have not read it because by the time I became aware of it, one of my two cats had died. However if they were both still alive and sparring with each other, I would give it a try.

I had gotten some bad advice from a veterinarian about how to keep my two cats from fighting - such as putting their food dishes close to each other so they would have to hang out together when eating. It turns out I should have done the opposite, so they both had a place where they felt safe. Fortunately mine were not so hostile as to cause harm and most of the time they could tolerate each other.

I wish you well. It's very hard to have your furry ones hurting each other.

more info about situation
by: Lisa

hi. thanks for your response. Yes both my cats were fixed. Physically he is fine...I didn't mention before, but he was found abandoned at about 4 weeks old - I scooped him up at a local pet store that found him. Even when it was just me & him..after he settled in and stuff...he would be lovey-dovey or passive and then become aggressive. I actually then got the girl cat about 2 months later because I was told sometimes they need playmates to focus their energy on. I wish I didn't (and I hate to say that...but the girl cat is terrified just sitting around let alone being close to him. I have to separate them - unfortunately that is not an option anymore. My problem is what to do with my boy cat. I do love him, however, I know he cannot be rehomed...he is just too aggressive. Any other ideas please? I'm running out of options & I just don't know if I have the mental/emotional ability to put him to sleep. He is a danger though. Everyone I know thinks I'm ridiculous right now, constantly crying over my two cats & their troubles. These cats are like my kids - I love them. I just know that something has to be done though.

Answer by KAte
Thanks for confirming the situation. Well if it were me I would try some of the calming products such as felaway room spray or one of the medication mentioned on my page.

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