"RUDY" My sweet Feral Tabby

by Mary
(North Carolina USA)

Some time ago I wrote in about Rudy, one of the feral cats that I have been working with for well over a year.

I started out with caring for 6 ferals on my property.
Mama Kitty ( A sweet , petite calico)
Lenny (Mama kittys baby boy)
O.J ( A beautiful buff colored Tabby)
Rukka (A pretty grey and white DSH)
Spook (A beautiful Tuxedo who is blind in one eye)
And last but not least RUDY ( A sweet Tabby)

These 6 cats have taken alot of work and effort to save them and have them fixed then months and months of socialization work on each one.
Currently, I am happy to report that
(1) Mama Kitty and her baby Boy (Lenny) are SOCIALIZED, FIXED, VACCINATED and living inside my home where they are safe.

(2) O.J is also now SOCIALIZED, FIXED, VACCINATED and living in my home.

(3) Rukka is also now SOCIALIZED, FIXED, VACCINATED and living in my home.

(4) Spook is SOCIALIZED and living in my barn awaiting his trip to the spay neuter clinic next week, after which time he will come inside my home to live.

(5) And then there is Sweet Rudy.
Rudy is also in my barn in a large feral cage awaiting his neuter surgery next week.
Unfortunately, Rudy has not socialized no matter what effort I have put into it.
I have fed him and medicated his food when he was sick and kept him in warm sheltered quarters in the winter.
I recently moved to a new area and a new home. I could not move away and leave Rudy so I trapped him and took him with me. I have kept him in my barn to work closer with him on socialization and to get him well enough to undergo neuter surgery (he had a bad respiratory infection) but he is not doing well on the socialization part.
Tonight I went to the barn to feed him and scoop his litter box and talk to him.
He was hunkered down in his cage and hissing.
He has the saddest look on his sweet face.
It hit me then and there that Rudy is VERY unhappy and out of his element.
He is one of the many ferals that just NEVER learns to trust humans enough to live a social life inside.
It breaks my heart to see him so unhappy.
He just looks as if he has lost his reason to live.
I just cant allow that to continue as I have grown to love him greatly.
It is that love that lets me know that I have to give him his life back.
So, as bad as it is breaking my heart into pieces, as soon as he is neutered and vaccinated next week and after a couple days of recuperation, I will be taking Rudy back to where he found me (his old territory) and I will be releasing him to his life that he is use to.

There is a farmer across the road who feeds all the ferals so I know he will have a food supply and I will go back there daily to leave him food where he will find it.
But I cannot be selfish and keep trying to make him change when it just isnt in the cards for this cat.
He is sad and depressed and it hurts me.
For that reason alone, I have to release my dear sweet friend and accept that I will never see him again.
But as bad as it hurts my heart to say good bye to him, I know he will be happy to "go home" to the only life he has ever known.
He is a TRUE FERAL and it is in his blood and not likely to change.
His spirit is broken and I cant allow that to go on.
So, please pray for me that I will be doing the right thing for this beautiful boy and that he will somehow know that I TRIED to help him.
I have a friend in Feral rescue who has a saying that is true.
She always says:
"FERALS: Just because you cant touch them dont mean you cant do whats right for them."
She is right. I can love him and have him vaccinated and fixed and see he has a food supply but I cannot take away his wild spirit.
So next week I will be releasing my dear friend RUDY and saying goodbye to him in his old territory where he knows the art of survival.
I will give him the gift of his LIFE back and I will pray that he does well for the remainder of his life.
I guess one out of six FERALS is not a bad record.
As I sit here typing, Sweet O.J and Rukka and Mama Kitty and Lenny are all sprawled out on the carpet sleeping like babies.
They are safe, loved and have a forever home with me.
Spook will come inside in another week after his surgery too.
And we will ALL be sad to say good bye to SWEET RUDY but he is homesick and we have to sometimes let go of those we love.

To my sweet RUDY
I will love you forever dear feline friend.
You will live on in my heart and memory.
Go and Be Free and live long and happy.

Mary in NC

Comment from Kate
God Bless you Mary and your caring, giving heart. Long may you reign as the queen of cat rescue.

I'm sure you are doing the right thing for Rudy, his happiness is paramount and what you have done for him will allow him to lead a longer happier life.