My cat hates my hubbie

by Lindsey
(Cumberland, RI, USA)

I have a 4 year old cat that is extremely loving and affectionate to me... but ONLY to me! I got her as an 8 week old kitten when I was single, living by myself. She was like my baby, and still is. She will follow me around the house, jump onto my lap, and purrs like a motor when she's with me. To anyone else, she is absolutely hateful! She particularly dislikes men and children, which is of great concern to me since I'm getting married in just a few months and we plan to start a family soon after. While I can do almost anything to the cat without her minding much, if my fiance comes within 5 feet of her she hisses and acts aggressively toward him. She actually tried to attack my 2 year old niece once without being provoked. It kills me to think that we may need to find another home for her when we have children because she is so loving toward me and I care for her so much. I guess my question is, what can we do so that my finance and she can live more peacefully together? I thought it would get better with time... that she would get used to him, but she hasn't. If anything, she's gotten worse! I don't think she's a mean cat, but I don't know how to change her behavior toward other people. Help, please!

Answer from Kate
Oh dear it sounds to me like she was not socialise when she was a very small kitten. The first 7 weeks of a cats life is the time when they need to met lots of different people and animals so that they are friendly towards them through out their life. I'm afraid to say that this may not always be possible to change.

All I can say is that when ever anyone else comes into the home they need to behave towards your cat in a way that allows her to decide f she wants to approach or not. also a gradually introduction and offering of treats is also a possible way forward. Hopefully f she can get used to your future husband she will be more accepting of any children you may have in the future.

Please see my page about cat bonding for more on how to try and get a cat to get used to you

best wshes kate

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