My cat is getting distant from me

by britanie
(mississippi)

My cat ploof was 2 months old when I found him. He followed me and my bf home for a mile and a half. I’m not sure why he followed us but I’m very glad he did. Ever since then, which was eight months ago, he has been my baby boy. He follows me everywhere, he sleeps with me, he has to be near me at all times, and he copies me. I put my foot under the door and my bf opens it for me, it’s an inside thing. Well my cat does the same thing but with his nose. And I’ve trained him to sit, stand (up up), and when I say "tell me you love me" he meows. We share food as well. I know that isn’t healthy but it isn’t a lot and he is very healthy. Well a few weeks ago my other cat had kittens, and I had to keep them in my room from the day they were born so I know they are safe. Well ploof sleeps in here every night. This is his room; he does what he wants in here. I mean he’s well trained so don’t get the wrong idea with that. Anyhow, the last few days the kittens have been learning to walk, and are moving about. Well he saw them and he’s acting odd. He won’t come in my room, and he’ll sit next to me but look forward and put his chin up like "hhhhmmmmph". And he will do that for a long time. But oddly he’s been hunting at night. Every night he annoys me to let him out, so I do. And he goes out hunts, then comes to my window and follows me with his prey until I look at it. When I pat him and say thank you baby boy, he walks off purring. He doesn’t even care about the bird or kill he had. He purrs instantly when he sees me and he follows me everywhere, without me having to call him. It’s been this way since I found him. So it hurts my feelings that he’s hardly coming around me.

He’ll be a year old soon, so I know he’s going to change, but could this be because of the kittens? Does he hate me? Will things get back to normal?


Reply
Hi
There are a few issues here.
Firstly is he neutered? If not then this should be done now as at 1 year old he is now mature enough to start wanting to mate and this will make him more distant anyway as he will want to increase his territory and find females, so this could be a reason for his change in behaviour towards you.

Also cats are not pack animals like dogs so they don’t like to live with lots of other cats. So it could well be that the arrival of the kittens has upset him. He may be thinking that he is being pushed out of the home.

I don’t know what your plans are for the kittens but they have to stay with their mum until they are fully weaned which happens between week 8 and 12.
Also as you say as kittens grow up they will naturally change their behaviour just like humans do, so the change could also just be down to that. You can’t expect him to always be the same. I have two young cats that I have had since they were 4 months old. They are now 2 and I can’t tell you how many things have changed over the years. Yes it is sad when they are no longer so reliant on you but that’s the nature of cats really, they are very independent creatures.

So no I don’t think he hates you but, if he is not neutered I would do that as that will make him calmer and more content to stay near home.

You will have to re home the kittens as soon as they are weaned to prevent further upset in the home. And you will have to accept that he may change his behaviours but at the end of the day that does not mean that they dislike you now, it just means that they are growing up.

Best wishes Kate

Comments for My cat is getting distant from me

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happy home
by: Anonymous

my cat has always been affectionate. She could curl up in my lap for hours. She often doesn't sleep with my daughter at night and does this much less. In the morning she meows loud as if she wants us all up now that she is up. She is more obsessed with being fed when she is awake. She started to hide at night but now that my daughter has tried not to pick her up at night and bring her to bed with her, she stoped trying to hide. I want my loving,affectionate and puring cat back again. What can I do?
My cat is not cuddling with me anymore
by: Kathy

My cat has not been cuddling with me anymore. She is a female. 7 yrs. old i adopted her when she was 3 yrs. Old.she loves to cuddle, but lately she isnt. Im confused.
getting cold shoulder
by: Anonymous

I adopted Scotty (10 yeats old) 2 mts ago. From the start he showed me his trust and much affection.I was very happy. He became distant, doesn' cuddle up to me anymore. Sometime ago I started giving him a little treat before his breakfast and dinner. It's clear he wants treats more often which I ignore. Could this be the reason for the cold shoulder. He no longer comes close to mee. What to do? I adopted this cat to share affection.
Kitten suddenly distant
by: Anonymous

Me and my family adopted a 3 month old kitten a few weeks ago and he was so so loving he never hissed or used his claws and he slept in our beds and purred all the time he was just oh so loving. Well up until 2 days ago we let our 4 year old cousin pick him up and it wasn't a great idea since he had just gotten shots from the vet the same day. And he picked him up ALOT we don't like to scream at 4 year olds but when he made a move to pick him up for the 8th time for the first time ever he hissed at him. We were shocked. After that he no longer wants us to pet him or touch him and hides under our bed and if you do try to pick him up he will continue to hiss. he doesn't seem to be in physical pain but we are heartbroken our adorable baby cat no longer likes us or is the friendly cat he was before.. We regret letting our cousin near him at all.. Now we don't know what to do with him.
Distant cat
by: Anonymous

My cat and I are like best friends and she has followed me around and enjoyed my company for a few months and rarely left my side. She sleeps with me, waits for me, and follows me but recently she has been crying and i try to tell her to come here or walk towards her to pet her because i thought maybe she was lonely but she just runs. Its like she is afraid. Now she wont step foot inside my room or go on my bed. I dont know whats wrong and i need advice. Yes, she is neutered.
my 12 yr old
by: Anonymous

My cat Missy is 12 yr old and all these yrs we have been bff's she would snuggle in on the bed at night and not move til morning but the last few weeks she has become distant and acting a bit weird she also has been sleeping behind the TV unit and I when I talk to her it's like our connection has gone I miss my baby and would like some advice on what could be going on , thanks in advance

Reply
Try building the bond again by trying to play with her, perhaps with a new string toy. Don't force her, just let her do it in her own time. Don't try to cuddle with her either, just sit near her and talk softly. This will help her to build her confidence again.

The occasional treat can also help

best wishes Kate
New kittens
by: Anonymous

I talked to a vet today in regards to my delima with my neighbors cats aka now my foster cats. I am getting the males neutered since the vet said the female can get pregnant again and they all stay in the same area. I also was advised that the female can't get spayed until 2weeks after the kittens are weaned. I, for the life of me do not know how i am going to keep her in my garage for 10 weeks, she is already getting stir crazy and it's been 3days since the birth. She is a good mommy though..I really don't want her to get pregnant again..any comments?

Moving her into the house is not an option
My female cat had her first liter
by: Anonymous

I have taken care of my neighbors cats since they have chosen to live on my deck. I have 3, 2 males one female..all siblings and very close. The female we call Calli just had her 1st liter, she had them in a tote which we prepared for her. Usually all of them sleep in the garage , but now I don't know if the her brothers should be in there..they are very close but I don't want them to scare her or harm the kittens.

Reply
keep them separate for the first week then gradually reintroduce the brother cats to the kittens.

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